Spastic Stories From The Coffee Shop

So, I live a little over a mile from one of my favorite coffee shops, The Whistle Stop. Since my Starbucks gift card is officially empty, I decided to walk there instead. It's a pretty nice day, but the bulk of my walk was in direct sun. So, even though I wasn't hot on my walk, I wound up sweating, well, a lot. So by the time I get there, (well, here, I'm writing this while sitting at the Whistle Stop and listening to Mat Kearney on Spotify), I'm lightly misted, makeup half gone, and a bit stinky.

Since I'm a frequent customer, I know the girls who work here and we have a nice, friendly rapport. (Plus they're just generally really nice, friendly, lovely people.) Anyway, before I ordered, they told me about how their morning was kind of rough. One girl got a mug dropped on her, the other had a coke explode over her. There were other things, too, but they were all like that.

I walked, and I was planning on hanging out and working for a bit, but my trip would overlap lunch. So, I ordered a protein shake. The Whistle Stop has awesome protein shakes. And it was a good choice for my situation: protein to make up for the delayed lunch, cold to combat the heat and exhaustion I built up from walking.

So, I get my drink, walk to my table, and set the drink on the table. Only I didn't. See, I meant to. But I entirely missed the table. Like no part of the cup ever touched the table. It just rocketed straight to the ground, crashing and busting open, spewing chocolate protein shake halfway across the coffee shop. "Shoot," I muttered, thinking about how I just added on to the lovely baristas' long list of muckups from the morning. I reached down, picked up the cup, to stand it upright, and just... dropped it again. Frantically, I grabbed a stack of napkins and timidly admitted that I spilled the drink all over the place. 

Back at my table, I tried to clean the floor up a bit. One of the baristas came over to help me, bringing with her a mop and towel. Together, we cleaned up the floor. I apologized about 16,000 times and she laughed and tried to make me feel better. Then she mixed me another drink and I tipped her all my ones (which was a lot of ones... how do I have so many ones? what am I a stripper?) and thanked her and apologized.

Long story short: I'm a complete spazz and you should go to the Whistle Stop. They have really good drinks, really nice baristas, and at least one really clumsy customer.