Happy Holidays!

Earlier today, as I was waiting in a Walmart checkout line to purchase two small bags of green buttons and a container of small, silver, spherical ornaments, I overheard the checkout clerk say to the man in front of me, "Thank you, have a nice day, and merry Christmas!" He said, "Thank you," took his purchases, and moved along. My transaction was quick--I had my cash in hand when she started ringing up the items--and when she handed me my change she said the same thing: "Thank you, have a nice day, and merry Christmas."

I said, with a smile, "Same to you!"

But the lady behind me in line said, "I really appreciate that you say Merry Christmas. It seems like everyone these days is saying, happy holidays." And that really... bothered me. Not in the same way Femen riots or sexist jokes bother me, but it bothered me none the less. It bothered me because it's the same sort of Fox News sentiment that prompted controversy over Macy's Santa helping kids with their "holiday" wish lists.

But then, the clerk says, "Yeah, yesterday a customer got very rude with me for saying Merry Christmas and said I should've said happy holidays instead. But, like, that's her preference and this is mine."

And the idea that some customer got rude with a pleasant sales clerk just because she said Merry Christmas also bothers me.

SO: let's talk about some courtesy, okay guys?

98% of the time (that's an entirely made up percentage, okay?) people who wish you happy holidays or merry Christmas or any other holiday-based-warmed-wishes are just being nice. They're basically just wishing you... happiness.

Let's think about it in terms of wishing someone a nice day verses a happy birthday. So, let's say I think it's your birthday, and I tell you, "Happy Birthday!" But it isn't your birthday. Does that make my wish mean? No. I wished you happiness. You would probably just say, "Thanks, but it isn't my birthday. My birthday isn't for another two months." And I'd say, "Oh, my mistake. But have a nice day, anyway!"

Now, if you're a close friend on the other hand, and I wished you a happy birthday when it wasn't your birthday, you might get a little offended. You might say, "It's not my birthday! Do you not know when my birthday was!? YOU WERE AT MY PARTY BACK IN SEPTEMBER."

Now, let's take what we learned from the birthday metaphor and apply it to the holiday season. If someone wishes you, "Merry Christmas!" And you don't celebrate Christmas, don't get upset with them. They're just wishing you happiness, after all. Feel completely free to tell them, politely, "Thank you, but I don't celebrate Christmas." If you celebrate something else, let them know what winter holiday you celebrate! If you don't celebrate something else, leave it at that. They'll probably just say, "Oh! I'm sorry. But have a nice holiday season anyway!" Or, "Oh, my mistake! Have a nice weekend!" If they get rude about it, that's on them, not on you.

Now, if the person who just wished you "Merry Christmas" knows that you don't celebrate Christmas, then that might offend you. I mean, sure, maybe they mean it with good intentions still, but: if it offends you, let them know so they can stop doing it. Feel free to tell them, once again politely, "Thank you, but I don't celebrate Christmas. And I would appreciate it if you didn't wish me a merry Christmas in the future." Then they would probably say, "Oh, okay." Or something to that effect. How should I know? I don't know your friends.

Now, back to the birthday analogy.

Let's say it is your birthday and I don't know that. Then, when you're headed out, I say, "Have a nice day!" You wouldn't whip around and yell at me, "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, YOU JERK" would you?

Similarly, if someone wishes you "Happy Holidays!" You shouldn't whip around and accuse them of PC-ing America to hell. In fact, they're being way nicer than just wishing you a merry Christmas. If someone wishes you a merry Christmas, they're just wishing you happiness on December 25th. Which, don't get me wrong, is super sweet of them, but, if someone wishes you "happy holidays" they want you to be happy on literally every winter holiday. They want you to be happy on Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years, Winter Solstice, Boxing Day, Yule, and even on the International Sweater Vestival.

Moreover, "Happy Holidays" is way more inclusive than "Merry Christmas" is. It's like, if I go around wishing everyone a "Happy Birthday," sure, I'll probably wish some people a happy birthday whose birthday it actually is, but more likely than not, I'll wish a bunch of people whose birthday it isn't a happy birthday. Comparatively, if I go around wishing everyone a nice day, well, it's "day" for most everybody. I mean, everybody I would see, anyway.

But, anyway, it's nice when people wish you happiness. Don't gripe about the way they go about doing it. Feel free to let them know if they've offended you--assuming you do it politely--but don't get angry with people for not wishing you happiness in the exact way you want to be wished happiness.

And have a happy winter, you all.