Advice for the Undergrad

SO! It is officially my last week as an undergraduate. That's pretty cool, right? And it means that I have had four years of muddling my way through an undergraduate degree, which means I am full of amazing advice. And since I think I am so smart and charming, I've decided to give you that amazing advice, right here and right now.

1. Try really hard for the first couple of weeks. Go to class with the readings done. Participate in class discussion. Show up fifteen minutes early. That way you don't fall behind while trying to figure the class out. It's way better to realize the textbook doesn't matter after you're fifty pages into it than it is to realize the textbook does matter once you're fifty pages behind.
2. Bring things that make you comfortable as long as they don't make others uncomfortable. This is a bit of advice for if you're living in the dorms. So, go ahead and bring the dorky picture of you and your family on a ski trip and set your teddy bear on your desk. But, leave the slightly-pornographic posters and actual-stuffed-bear at home, okay? 
3. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Almost everyone, especially when they're around new people, is a little uncomfortable in their own skin. As a result, some people act angrier, more pessimistic, ditzier, more enthusiastic, or a number of other more-ers than they really are. I can't even begin to tell you how many angry, I'm-such-a-misfit, nobody-likes-me-and-I-like-it-that-way people I've met who are just playing up a giant don't-want-to-be-genuinely-rejected facade. Did you ever watch The O.C.? Do you remember that episode where Seth and Summer had really bad sex and then Summer had to go to him and say, "Look, the thing is, we were both virgins..." and it was, like, really shocking to him and the audience? Because she wore this I've-hooked-up-with-every-guy-in-Orange-County facade. Anyway, that's what life is like. Tons of people acting like something a little different than themselves because they don't want to get hurt. 
4. You don't actually owe anyone a chance, let alone two, or three, or four. Yes, sometimes it really behooves you to give them any number of chances. But you don't really owe it to them. I mean, yes, totally be open and kind towards new people. But, I went on three dates with this guy that I was never really interested in because someone said you don't really know if you like him until you give him a chance. And you know what? All of the dates were boring. And I kept going because I thought I "owed" him a chance. But I didn't. In fact, it was kind of just a waste of both of our time. I could've just said, "I'm not really interested, but you seem nice," and spent my Saturdays reading books, instead. I'm not saying, "don't give people chances." Totally give people chances. If you don't give people chances, you'll miss out. But, also, use your judgement. 
5. Don't hang out with people who make you feel bad about yourself. I ranted about this in a video, so I'll just link it here. 
6. Eat breakfast. Tons of people are like, "I don't really eat breakfast..." but there's a reason they say it's the most important meal of the day. And that reason is: you probably haven't eaten in like eight hours. So eat something! Let's say you sleep in. What do you do? You buy a box of Poptarts so you can eat something while running to class. Don't be immature. Skipping breakfast or just having coffee for breakfast doesn't make you edgy, cool, or mature. It makes you hungry and unfocused. "Oh, not me!" You cry out. Bitch, don't lie. You fall asleep in class like all the time 'cause you don't eat breakfast. "I do not! I drink coffee." Great, you pump your body full of uppers with nothing to nourish you. Yeah, that's good for your physical and mental health. I'm being sarcastic. Eat some food, you damn fool.
7. Read your books and go to class. Now, if you were to pay full price for tuition at my school, and you were to take twelve credit hours, each credit hour would be $2,062. If you were to take eighteen credit hours, each would cost $1,375. At my school, your average class period costs $412.50. So, I know you think it's super cool that you slept through Chem or didn't read any of your Women & Lit books and still passed with an "A" or a "B" or whatever. But, in reality, it's stupid. Because, if you're in a school like mine, you're spending $412.50 per class period to apparently not learn anything. School isn't just about getting grades. It's about learning stuff. That's why you're spending that money. So, great. You got an "A" on your paper about The Epic of Gilgamesh and you only read the sparknotes. Fabulous. You wasted your money and your time. And you now you probably don't know shit about the Epic of Gilgamesh. Which is a pretty freaking cool epic, too.
8. That having been said... Everything is going to be all right. If you're like me, you'll be totally freaking out going in to class when you don't have the reading for the day finished. Or, you'll be two seconds away from an emotional collapse if you have to walk into class ten minutes late. But you know what? It'll be okay. It's not the end of the world if you bomb a test or have to turn an assignment in late. Be responsible for your actions, don't makeup excuses, and talk to your professor as soon as humanly possible. But don't make yourself sick over it. A small mistake here or there won't cost you your GPA, your future, your scholarship, or whatever. So long as that small mistake is, like, missing a pop quiz and not, like, manslaughter. 
9. Be nice to people. Don't call people names, don't dismiss people's feelings, don't gossip about people behind their backs. Don't call someone a "freak" to their face or a "whore" to their back. Here's a secret: people like nice people. Trash-talking jerks? Not so much. 
10. Sleep at night. Sleep at night, limit your alcohol/tobacco/coffee consumption, walk whenever you get the chance. All that shit is good for reducing your anxieties. 
11. Be polite at dinner parties. That means: be willing to try new things. Thank your host for everything, even the things you didn't like. If you can't eat something... Let's say you're a vegetarian or you 110% hate eggplant or you're allergic cheese... try and let the host know before hand. If you're not able to do so, say, "Thank you very much for offering, but I'm going to have to pass. Still, I really appreciate you making this for me." If you try something new, and you don't like it, don't make a show about not liking it. 
12. Try new things. Show up at open mic nights, take dance classes, and join your friends for a knitting circle. Whenever you can, take classes that interest you but aren't required of you. College, and life, is about widening your horizons. So do it.
13. Apologize when you've hurt someone's feelings. If you notice someone getting quiet and sad, stop what you're doing immediately. Ask they're all right. If you've done something to hurt their feelings, even if you didn't mean to, apologize. And just apologize. Don't justify your actions. Saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was offending you!" is okay. Saying, "I'm sorry! I was just joking! It was just a joke! Joke-joke-jokity-joke!" is not.
14. Leave bad situations. If you're feeling uncomfortable, if people are hurting your feelings, if everyone at that party has gotten a little too drunk, if someone's asking you to do something you aren't comfortable with, or if someone's lit up a joint? Feel free to leave. Seriously, I encourage you to leave. 
15. Pull your weight in group projects. Don't be that person who shows up two-hours late when the presentation is already pretty much put together and then sits around complaining about how they have this project and a speech and a test and a paper all due this week. College is rough on everybody. Lots of people are taking tons of credit hours. Lots of people are working off campus. Lots of people are working on campus. Lots of people are really involved in clubs. Sometimes you will have to listen to an audiobook of Frankenstein while putting together a "fairytales-and-fable land" board game for the English Club. Sometimes, you will have to work on a paper while visiting with your grandparents. It's hard to balance everything sometimes. But don't use all of that to excuse not doing work in a group project. Because, most likely, everyone is trying to balance a ton of things. And those people, the ones who are also trying to balance a ton of things, are having to take on more work because you're slacking off. 

Okay, so... as an experienced college student, that's my advice for you. Oh, and, if you're in multiple lit classes, seriously consider getting audiobook versions of some of your books. That way, you can "read" while getting ready in the morning, driving, walking, grocery shopping, and idly staring at attractive men in coffee shops. 

My most important piece of advice, though, is to remember that everything will be okay. Seriously. It will.