And then, after years of pointless daydreams, I realized: I might not ever meet anyone who I like and who likes me. Ever.
Tons of people never fall in love or get married. Which is fine, but can you imagine how crushing that would be if it was all I ever dreamed of? You know how some people say "You need to be okay being alone before you can be okay being with someone"? Well, it's kind of like that. Despite the fact that I always alone--I wasn't ever really okay with "being alone."
After that tangent I started this blog post out with: these days I daydream about loads of things: doing interviews with Conan or John Stewart, writing and illustrating children's books, traveling around Scotland with Renee, taking up running, writing really thoughtful comparative essays, befriending Rainbow Rowell, writing for SNL, and, yes, sometimes even making out with handsome hipsters in coffee shops. My daydreams are still really idealized and they are still really unlikely to happen (especially that running one...), but they're daydreams. Plus, now they're at least varied.
As of late, I've been daydreaming about next year a lot. As many of you may know, I graduate in May. And, if you have been following this blog post since I started it way back in August(?), you may know: I love beginnings. I am super idealistic about the beginnings of things. ("Oh, but graduating is an ending..." Except it's not: it's a beginning. The beginning of not being in school. Every ending is a beginning of something new and all that jazz.)
So, here it is! Some characteristics of my super-idealistic daydream version of a year from now:
- I'm living alone. It's a small apartment, but relatively nice, and I'm not forced to share my space with anyone which is awesome.
- I do that "do most of your prep work on Sundays" thing that people who have really busy weeks but still want to eat healthily often do. I eat a lot of fried rice, oatmeal, homemade veggie burgers, and cream-based vegetable soups.
- I have a lot more bookshelf space. Also, I read about a book a week, which we all know is the ideal.
- I have a small group of lady friends--not sure where I made all of them, but probably a couple are from work and probably a couple are strengthened friendships that I already have and maybe I met some new people at church. Anyway, we do a secret santa at Christmastime and celebrate galentines together, and we're always trying to do book clubs and monthly "ladies nights" and ceramics classes but those are always falling through.
- I get a pet guinea pig who has cowlicks all over its body, like the guinea pig I had as a kid did.
- I befriend the guy who lives across the hall. We have one of those good F-R-I-E-N-D-S style friendships where he just kind of shows up at my door on a semi-regular basis and we eat fried rice and watch The Mindy Project together. We wouldn't ever get up to any romantic shenanigans, but we'd still accompany one another to our friends' weddings. (BTW, best friend from high school is getting married in June, anyone want to accompany me? No? Shucks. If only I had already befriended the guy across the hall.)
- I get some proper lights and set up a place for video filming. Then, sometime, I get a new camera (as mine was recently ruined and I am currently borrowing my father's.) And eventually, I get better editing software. My youtube videos, though still rarely watched, are super good quality.
- I save up enough money to go to either Vidcon or Leakycon in 2015. I'm not sure which one yet, but I go to one of them.
- I publish my children's book, promote it Conan and the Daily Show. I start performing Standup and Spoken Word Poetry. Rainbow Rowell and I become friends, it's awesome. Sometimes I makeout with Chris O'Dowd. Sometimes. ("He's married!" You say. "NOT IN MY DAYDREAMS!" I retort.)
I was just kidding about that last bullet point. But, daydreaming, eh?
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