A few years ago, I was really into youtube and I wanted to go to vidcon. But, when I looked into it, it was just too expensive and too far away and I'm not super good at talking to people IRL (or on the internet TBH) so I was afraid I'd just be stuck there, alone and asocial, for, like, three days or whatever. So, I pocketed my dreams of meeting Hayley G Hoover and tracking down Ingrid Nilsen for another year.
I'm not so into youtube any more. I haven't posted anything for over a year. I only very rarely watch anything any more, and then, it's only videos posted by my actual friends. And, even then, I do a half-assed and spotty job of it. So, I'm significantly less interested in emptying my savings to go to vidcon. But I'd never been to any kind of con and, so, I wanted to try it out, so I put it on my list.
Awhile ago, somebody shared something on Facebook that linked to a Planet Comicon ad where I was able to read through some of the celebrities who would be in attendance. There would be a lot of benefits to going to this particular con. For one thing, Stephen Amell would be there, and lbh that boy is razor-fine. (Side note: I actually prefer The Flash to The Arrow, and if I was given a choice between a con where Stephen Amell would be in attendance and one where Grant Gustin would be in attendance, I'd choose the latter. But that wasn't my situation and I was super stoked about the prospect of seeing The Arrow irl.) For another thing, Planet Comicon was in Kansas City. So, my commute would only be about forty minutes, and I wouldn't have to book a hotel room. Plus, I could only go for one of the three days. That would be enough time to experience it but not so much time that I'd become overwhelmed by it.
I asked a few friends if they wanted to come with me, but they weren't able to. So, I thought about it for awhile, and opted to go on my own. The "doing shit on my own" thing is a liberating development but it didn't come about easily. I only have it in me to invite, about, three people to something and if they all can't do it (even if they all can't do it for really justifiable "I'm in another state" "I'm working" type reasons) my social anxiety tells me that the entire world hates me and nobody wants to spend any time with me, ever, because why would they? So, when I was younger, I ended up just not doing things a lot. As I got older, I got better at going anyway. For awhile, it kind of sucked. But then I started really enjoying it. For awhile, I regularly went to movies and wouldn't invite, or even tell, anyone. It was awesome.
So, I decided to go by myself. Part of me hated that idea. Doing things with other people is typically more fun because you can spend so much time talking and laughing and you have someone there to take selfies with. But I knew that there were also a lot of benefits to going by myself. I wouldn't have the pressure of another person's schedule or expectations. I could show up late if I wanted. I could spend most of my time in line. I could cut out early if I wasn't having a good time. I wouldn't feel obligated to keep someone else entertained, to go to booths or panels that I wasn't interested in. I would just be responsible for getting myself to the places that I wanted to be.
So, I bought a ticket. Just one, for Saturday, when Stephen Amell would be there.
On the day of, I honestly didn't feel like going. It was rainy and I felt anxious and I was feeling a little disappointed that I didn't have anyone to go with. But, I'd already bought the ticket. I reminded myself that I could go, hate it, and then leave if I wanted.
I wore a red dress that my mother had sewn a Flash emblem on. I bought a new bag that wasn't too big but would fit a book, a notebook, a sandwich, a few small oranges, an umbrella, lotion, my phone, wallet, and keys. I left my work badge and debit card at home, just in case I lost my stuff or got it stolen. I took $100 in cash out of my bank account. I bought a chai, and I drove into the city.
I was running late. But, thankfully, the only person I was making late was myself.
It was a struggle and a headache to try and find a parking spot. I wound up calling my dad, twice, to ask for advice. At the time, he was having coffee with a friend, and they both had ideas for me. I wound up driving a few blocks away and parking at my brother's library. After parking, I ran inside to use the bathroom, and I stopped by to chat with my brother.
"Are you here for lit-fest?" He asked.
"No, Planet Comicon. When do you get off of work?"
"5:00," he said.
Planet Comicon wouldn't end until 7:00, but I would have to be back at the library by 5:00, anyway, because that's when they closed and I didn't know what would happen if my car was still in their parking garage after hours. So, we made tentative plans to hang out, and I, armed with my umbrella, walked over to comicon.
I was in line for what felt like ages. I didn't speak to anyone, but I looked around with gleeful curiosity. I saw a few girls in Tardis dresses. I saw the Doctor and a hoard of Disney Princesses. I saw a bunch of dudes wearing Jayne's hat. Mostly, I saw a ton of people dressed as characters I didn't recognize.
As we neared the entrance, I saw a Doctor, an Amy covered in ticks, and a couple of guys dressed like The Silence. A guy nearby got really excited and was trying to tell his friends about the cosplayers, and who they were cosplaying, but he forgot the name The Silence. I provided it and he just cheerfully said, "YES! THE SILENCE!" Before continuing to explain the episode to his friends. I congratulated my memory for aiding in semi-social interactions.
Later, I helped a girl remember the name Big Hero 6 when she was trying to explain where Baymax came from. Score two for my memory and semi-social interactions.
When I finally got into the convention, there was just so much to attend to. I wandered around aimlessly for awhile, walking aimlessly and looking at busy, booming booths. Eventually, I find myself in line to meet Stephen Amell.
It was a long line, broken into two parts. There are two giddy high school girls standing in front of me, one is on crutches, gushing gleefully about Stephen Amell, The Arrow, and how this was a dream come true. Behind me, a woman, maybe in her late thirties, talked nonstop with her mother. I pulled out my book (Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig) and started reading. After about ten minutes, we were moved form the second part of the line to the main line, the line where you could actually catch a glimpse of Stephen Amell from time to time (depending on where you were in the line). After about another fifteen minutes, the woman behind me mentions the cost of getting Stephen Amell's signature. $60.00. I froze. Did I hear that right? Did she say sixty or sixteen? I closed my book, turned, and asked, trying to hide my panic. "Sixty," she said.
"Okay, cool," I say, nonchalantly. I ask where she saw that and she pointed me towards a website. I stood there, trying to act like I wasn't kind of panicking, and trying to decide if I should bail on this line.
But I did, kind of, come to see Stephen Amell, right? And I already a good chunk of time in this line. So, I would just go for it. My big ticket item of the day would be some dude's name on a photograph. I waited in line for a total of two hours. During that time, I saw a guy who brought a really cool painting of the Arrow to get signed, I saw a woman dressed as her own superhero with skeins of yarn in her hair and straps of thread in lieu of bullets, and I saw a woman dressed as the Arrow. (I spent the rest of the con hoping to see her again because I thought it would be cool to get a picture with female-Arrow and female-Flash. I didn't have any luck.) Eventually, I handed over sixty dollars, picked out a picture, and got it signed.
Stephen Amell was wearing a Royals hat and drinking coffee from the Roasterie. He was smiling and friendly despite having spent four hours signing things already. He even cheerfully greeted the people just walking by his table. He asked how I was, he said he was good when I asked it back, and then he shook my hand, smiling.
Afterwards, I did the math. $60.00 is about 5 hours of work, and I spent about 2 hours in line, and that means I invested about 7 hours of my time in a two minute exchange and a picture with a signature.They didn't even give me a bag to put it in. (It was still totally worth it.)
I was bag-less and it was raining, so I decided to look for some merch that might come with a bag that I could use to protect it. So, I wandered over to the merch booths. One that catches my eye immediately is packed with dresses made from unique patterns. After the $60.00 autograph, I didn't know about buying any thing as expensive as a handmade dress. But I kept looking around. She had zipper pouches, buttons, and bows, too. She stopped to talk to me, explaining that she handmade her stuff out of fabrics she designed. (You can check out her stuff here. I super recommend it because it's all hella cute.) I wound up buying three bows.
I wandered around, looking at comics and sketches and prints. At one point, I happened across a guy I went to high school with and we chatted briefly before I started feeling the discomfort of small talk and bailed on the conversation. I had decided to go back for a print I'd passed by earlier but, while I was looking for that booth, again, I stumbled across another one with cool stickers and prints. I was flipping through the artist's book of stickers when I happened upon a cool print of Unbeatable Squirrel Girl.
And, like, guys? I REALLY like Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. So, I kind of had to, you know?
I made my way to the bathroom where girls dressed as characters from Sailor Moon and Doctor Who. I struggled to keep all of my things off of the floor. The sinks were covered in water and I did my best to wash my hands without getting any of my merch wet. The bathrooms were near a host of food trucks and damn I was getting hungry.
I had a PB&J and some tiny oranges in my bag, but I couldn't figure out how to go about eating them, so I just didn't.
I wandered back down through the booths. Sarah Andersen was supposed to be there, but I never had any luck tracking down her booth. (This is a bummer. You should definitely check out Sarah Andersen's Adulthood is a Myth and Big Mushy Happy Lump.)
While looking around, I happened upon a really cool artist who did illustrations of characters--the Arrow, the Flash, Han Solo, Chewie, the Ninja Turtles, and so on--as kids on a playground. I looked over his stickers and artwork and buttons with glee. But his booth was kind of busy so I decided to head over to a panel and come back to buy merch later.
The panel I went to was about turning your interests into a business--running a website or podcasts. I didn't know who the guys were that were running the panel, but it was interesting. They all did podcasts, so they all had good voices. They made jokes and were full of decent advice.
When I left, I was starving. I wandered back to the artist's booth whose work I was admiring earlier, but it was still pretty packed. So, I wandered through the cosplay section, checking out R2D2s and dodging past Disney Princesses. (There were seriously a lot of Disney Princesses at this convention.) I was hungry, and tired, and I knew that I didn't have much money left. I needed to hang on to at least $8.00 to pay the library for parking there all day. (Side note: I actually didn't. It's $4.00 on weekends; free if you get your parking validated. I didn't know that, though.) So, I headed back to the artist's booth a final time. This time, I bought a print (the proceeds of which went entirely to Children's Mercy) that the artist signed and I bought five buttons--The Arrow for me, Han Solo and Chewie for my brother, and Some Rey and BB8 pins for my nerd friends.
It was nearing 4:00. I was mostly out of cash. It was still raining. I zipped my merch up in my jacket, clutched the bag to my chest, and angled my umbrella to prioritize my purchases over my hair. I walked back to my car. I ate my sandwich and small oranges in the car and then headed in to the library. I hung out for an hour, listening to music, scrolling through the internet online, and writing in a notebook. Afterwards, my brother and I hung out at a coffee shop. Then, I drove back to my parents house.
I enjoyed the convention, but I don't know that I would go to another one. Unless it was a book-con of some sort. Books books books. Authors authors authors.
