Spastic Stories From The Coffee Shop

So, I live a little over a mile from one of my favorite coffee shops, The Whistle Stop. Since my Starbucks gift card is officially empty, I decided to walk there instead. It's a pretty nice day, but the bulk of my walk was in direct sun. So, even though I wasn't hot on my walk, I wound up sweating, well, a lot. So by the time I get there, (well, here, I'm writing this while sitting at the Whistle Stop and listening to Mat Kearney on Spotify), I'm lightly misted, makeup half gone, and a bit stinky.

Since I'm a frequent customer, I know the girls who work here and we have a nice, friendly rapport. (Plus they're just generally really nice, friendly, lovely people.) Anyway, before I ordered, they told me about how their morning was kind of rough. One girl got a mug dropped on her, the other had a coke explode over her. There were other things, too, but they were all like that.

I walked, and I was planning on hanging out and working for a bit, but my trip would overlap lunch. So, I ordered a protein shake. The Whistle Stop has awesome protein shakes. And it was a good choice for my situation: protein to make up for the delayed lunch, cold to combat the heat and exhaustion I built up from walking.

So, I get my drink, walk to my table, and set the drink on the table. Only I didn't. See, I meant to. But I entirely missed the table. Like no part of the cup ever touched the table. It just rocketed straight to the ground, crashing and busting open, spewing chocolate protein shake halfway across the coffee shop. "Shoot," I muttered, thinking about how I just added on to the lovely baristas' long list of muckups from the morning. I reached down, picked up the cup, to stand it upright, and just... dropped it again. Frantically, I grabbed a stack of napkins and timidly admitted that I spilled the drink all over the place. 

Back at my table, I tried to clean the floor up a bit. One of the baristas came over to help me, bringing with her a mop and towel. Together, we cleaned up the floor. I apologized about 16,000 times and she laughed and tried to make me feel better. Then she mixed me another drink and I tipped her all my ones (which was a lot of ones... how do I have so many ones? what am I a stripper?) and thanked her and apologized.

Long story short: I'm a complete spazz and you should go to the Whistle Stop. They have really good drinks, really nice baristas, and at least one really clumsy customer.

My List

So, if you follow my twitter you may already know that recently, I read, my friend/former youth minster, Ethan Bryan's new book Catch and Release: Faith, Freedom, and Knuckleballs. (If you want, you can read my shelfari review of it here.)

A lot of things stuck with me from the book. For instance, and this is where this blogpost is coming from, Ethan brings up a philosophy practiced by his friend, Ryan Eller. Ryan, according to Ethan, is "a professional dreamer," and as such, he always encourages people to "Live Your List." The idea is that you write a list of everything that you want to do in your life (a bucket list, if you will) and then you just try to live that list. That way, you don't wind up sitting around wishing you had gone to that Little Mix concert or tried horse back riding or whatever.

I'm all about lists. I love making lists. Every year, on Christmas Eve, I make a list of things I want to do during the following year. If I didn't do that, I probably would have never gone to a dance club. Don't get me wrong, I did not enjoy going to that dance club. But, now at least I've been to one.

So, I'm going to do it. I'm going to write a list of stupid, ridiculous things I want to do during my lifetime, and I'm starting it here:

1. Go to Leakycon
2. Take improv classes
3. Make a perfect batch of chocolate chip cookies
4. Meet an online friend in the real world
5. Visit Renee in Australia
6. Go on a trip where I live out of a backpack (that's called backpacking, isn't it?)
7. Get a massage from a professional masseuse
8. Be part of a couple's costume on Halloween
9. Get paid to do Stand Up Comedy
10. Meet Mindy Kaling
11. Create something that goes viral
12. Use the line, "I'm a good cook, you eat food, so you should come over for dinner" on someone (I don't know, I just like it.)
13. Buy some stupid expensive makeup product
14. Have that moment when I walk in a room and everyone turns to look at me like /hot damn/
15. Make a dress
16. Meet Hayley G Hoover
17. Swim with dolphins
18. Profit off of something that I wrote
19. Go to Vidcon
20. Watch SNL preformed live from the actual living audience
21. Fix up a house
22. Learn to code in HTML
23. Learn to code in JAVA
24. Get hella good at cake decorating
25. Take a dance class
26. Do some sort of stupid/grotesque restaurant food challenge
27. Attend some sort of rally/political demonstration with a good and worthy cause
28. Volunteer at a suicide prevention hotline
29. Be a regular somewhere--where one of the workers goes, "Hey, Kat! Your usual?" And I go, "Yeah, thanks Alex!" or whatever their name is. 
30. Raise $1000+ for the Trevor Project
31. See a play on Broadway
32. Get one of these ridiculous knight hoodies
33. Spend a couple of days going to all of the places Rainbow Rowell mentions in her novels
34. Read all of my unread books
35. Write for a hit TV show
36. Make one of those 10000 desserts put together pinterest desserts
37. Learn how to do a french braid (idk why is it so hard?)
38. Apply liquid eyeliner like a BAMF
39. Have one of those stupid long make-out secessions with a dude
40. Watch When Harry Met Sally all the way through and in order
41. Get one of those MASSIVE dogs
42. Ride an elephant
43. Acquire filming lights (for videos)
44. Acquire a decent HD camera (for videos)
45. Acquire a sound system (for videos)
46. Acquire better editing software (for videos)
47. Hug Lee Pace
48. Learn to surf.
49. Go kayaking. Or canoeing. Is there a difference?
50. Find out if there's a difference between kayaking and canoeing
51. Listen to Welcome To Nightvale
52. Write a children's mystery series 
53. Watch all the Wes Anderson films 
54. Build a clubhouse 
55. Do karaoke
56. See Sarah Kay perform
57. Start rollerskating. Or rollerblading. Whichever. 
58. Write my name in cement
59. Go on a vacation with my best friend
60. Bunnies

I'm sure there's more to come. But that's what I've got for now!

Birthday

In twenty days, I'm going to be twenty-three. And I'm kind of... nervous... about it.

I'm not nervous about turning twenty-three or being twenty-three, I'm more nervous about my actual birthday... day.

I know that there are people who just kind of grow out of birthdays. As they get older, fewer birthdays feel important. Some people will want to do something--like go out to dinner with friends or family--but they don't really want to have a big party or make a huge to-do about it. Let me tell you upfront: I am not one of those people.

I love birthdays. Birthdays are basically my favorite things. Not just mine. I love basically anybody's birthday. Gift Giving and Quality Time are basically tied for my top love language. And a birthday is basically spending time with someone and also giving them presents. But then I especially like my own birthday because it's like I'm just surrounded by the love, man. Also? I love planning things. Activities, outfits, menus. Event planning is pretty much my favorite thing of all time. So I love my birthday.

Sometimes, I literally start vaguely planning them months in advance. Like, this year? Back in April I was thinking that I'd have a Nate The Great themed shindig. Which I know is a children's book. But it was also my favorite children's book when I was a child. Anyway. I wanted to dress up like Rosamond. I wanted to have a pancake bar--with pancakes and a variety of toppings to choose from--because Nate the Great is always eating pancakes. I wanted to have a place where people could paint, though they would be limited to yellow and red paint in honor of the mystery Nate solves in the first book. I wanted to set up a treasure hunt. Sounds fun right?

But I'm not doing that.

Why? Good question. And I'll get to that. But first let me tell you about my 7th-10th grades of schooling. I had a group of girls that I'd been friends with since elementary school. (I'm going to make up names here, but my guess is if they read this they'll know that I'm talking about them. It's no hard feelings, though. It's just an important part of my explanation.) My group of since-elementary-school friends almost never asked me to hang out. A lot of the time, they'd all hang out without me. And that hurt my feelings a lot. I mean, I'm sure that they didn't do it on purpose. And I believe that they genuinely liked me. My guess is that they just never really thought to.

To combat the problem of my social pariahship, and aggressive loneliness, I would frequently get permission to have a friend come over. Then, the worse part. I would call Lindsey who couldn't come over because she had plans with Rebecca. So I'd call Rachel who couldn't come over for one reason or another. Then I'd call Lydia who couldn't come over because she had plans with Jessica. And so on and so forth until, I'd be so sad and feel so rejected and unlovable that I just couldn't call any more people. Were you ever that person who looked around the classroom when the teacher said, "Partner up!" and saw that all of your friends had already partnered up with one another? Because I wasn't just like that in class. I was like that in social life, too. I remember one time I went to the mall with my group of friends and we were walking from one store to another and up in front of me, Lindsey and Jessica were laughing and talking, and back behind me, Lydia and Rachel were laughing and talking and I was just in the middle. Walking alone.

Side note: I did spend a lot of time hanging out with Alli and Laura (those are their real names, sorry to them if they wanted to keep their identities secret) who are absolutely always the exception when I talk about friend groups that made me feel unwanted and annoying. I feel like, when I talk about my social experiences in high school, it's important to mention them as a disclaimer. Because they honestly salvaged my sanity and I love them both so much. Okay, that's enough of that. On to my story.

What does this have to do with you not having your awesome already planned out birthday party? Excellent question. The answer is basically that I've already called Lindsey and Rebecca, Rachel, Lydia, and Jessica, and none of them want to hang out.

Whaaaaat?

Okay, so, last year I had a really rough birthday. Sometime in late June/early July my father was diagnosed with bladder cancer. He had to have surgery, which got scheduled for the day before my birthday. My mother suggested that we celebrate my birthday earlier in the week, and the family was supposed to go out to eat with my aunts and one of my cousins. However, my dad had a test a few days before and was still in a lot of pain when it came time to go out to lunch. So my parents ended up staying home and I never actually got to celebrate turning 22 with them. On the actual day of my birthday, my brother and I went to visit my dad in the hospital. We were also supposed to go out for coffee and/or pastries with my aunt and grandmother, but ultimately we didn't get to. My mom did try to take us out for coffee, but it turned out she didn't have enough cash on her, so that kind of fell through, too. Anyway, on top of that, most of my friends were out of town and I only got a few lousy texts from two of my friends who were in town saying, "Happy birthday!" at about four p.m on my birthday.

Laura, mentioned before as being one of the wonderful friendship exceptions, did go out to eat with me. Plus she brought cupcakes. It meant so much to me.

Also, my dad is all good now. He has to go in every few months to make sure he's still cancer free, and he is! So yay! That's a side note, but I think it's an important side note because I told you he was diagnosed with cancer and even if that isn't really what this blogpost is about, it might be something that you're curious about.

The point is: last year, I wanted to have a Pushing Daisies themed party and instead I spent several days driving back and forth between our house and the hospital.

In May I graduated from college. After four years of hard work, I finally earned that degree. Pretty cool, right? I didn't go to the graduation ceremony, but I did use it as an opportunity to finally have that Pushing Daisies party. We had pies and decorated the house with daisies. A ton of my extended family came, and I love hanging out with my extended family. And I had a really nice time. Really, I did. It meant so much to me that they came... but: none of the friends that I invited showed up.

And I know that a lot of them have very valid excuses for that. And part of it is definitely my fault. I wanted to keep it small so I only invited a handful of people in the first place. But not one of them showed up. After the time that the invitation said the party was ending passed, most of my family members went for a walk. And I stayed at home because I felt like surely one of my friends will be coming. But none of them did.

So that's why I don't want to have a birthday this year. I wish I could just skip over the day. I don't know that I trust my friends to show up. And I'm really not okay with getting hurt about it all over again.

4th of July Weekend

So, I spent the bulk of this weekend home alone. On Thursday morning, my brother, mother, and father packed up the car and drove down to my grandmother's house. I was totally invited and part of me really wanted to go see my grandma, but I ultimately declined because I needed some time to myself. Basically, I just hung out with the pets, watched movies, and got a lot of work done. As many of you may know, I have a beauty and lifestyle youtube channel and blogspot blog and I did a lot of filming, editing, photographing, and otherwise preparing some of the stuff that will be coming up this month on my channel and blog. (Self promo side note: there's also a beautythekat tumblr that you could follow.)

But anyway. This is how I spent my weekend!

After my family left on Thursday, I went to Hyvee to get some groceries. Back at home, I applied for a couple of jobs and did a bit of work. Eventually, I decided to walk to deals to see if I could get some project materials. On my way to Deals, I ran into the tiniest girls in our neighborhood. They're like four or something. Anyway, one of them walked up to me, carrying a little plastic bag full of petals, feathers, rocks, and other trinkets they found around their yard. She looked at me and said in her very small voice, "We're selling these for free. Would you like some? We're selling them for free." I almost told them that wasn't a very smart business model, but stopped myself. Instead I said, "Well, they're very pretty. But I'm on my way to the store and wouldn't have any safe place to keep them. Good luck!" So the little girls went their way, and I went mine. I got to Deals only to find it had closed down, so instead I walked to Walmart. Both are close to my house, but their in opposite directions. So I wound up walking quite a bit.

When I got back to my house, I found the baggie of trinkets on my front step.

When I got home, I was exhausted. And people around the neighborhood had started celebrating 4th of July early so I had to deal with random bangs and frightened pets. That night, I made myself twice baked potatoes for dinner. I got the vague outline of a recipe from my friends Becca and Megan but even though it isn't mine, I'll probably still share it with you guys sometime down the road. They're delicious. The twice baked potatoes, I mean. They even peaked Zoey's interest. 

That evening, I did some laundry and worked on projects. Friday morning, I folded the laundry (all towels) I did the night before and started washing my clothes. Unfortunately, I didn't get all of the towels put away before Zoey decided they were her bed. (In my defense, I got the main bathroom towels and the kitchen towels put away before they got cat-hair infected. It was just the parents' bathroom towels that will need a second cleaning.)

Plus: How cute is she? SO CUTE, right?

I spent the rest of Friday morning working on a blogpost and video that will come out in two weeks. I've disguised it a bit so as to not completely ruin the surprise, but here's a sneak peek! 

Then, I reheated some twice baked potatoes for lunch. I worked on some video editing, photo editing, and blogging. I also got several fashion blog posts queued up! I also got changed. It's officially July and, in the midwest that means it's HOT HOT HOT outside. And the look for my upcoming blogpost and video required a lot of layers. I was sweating bullets! TMI? Oh well! 

Then, I headed over to Red Racks to see if I could acquire some articles of clothing that I will need for a video scheduled to come out in early August. I had a lot of success, accentuated by a HALF OFF EVERYTHING IN THE STORE sale! I was so excited! I got two shirts that I will need for the August video, one shirt that I'm modified into a vest for the August video, a pair of capris that my mom's going to help me modify into shorts for the August video, a just run of the mill cute shirt, and two books for gifts for friends all for under $10.00! 

I spent the rest of the evening on Friday working on a present for Renee (AKA the love of my life) and watching season 2 of The O.C. I'll give you a little peak at it. Since it's more in depth than just this page, I don't think it will spoil it!

 On Saturday, I spent most of the morning baking and working on projects. Awhile ago, I got really into baking homemade sweet breads (like pumpkin bread or banana bread) and my brother started joking that I should make a "pumpkin tower." Which is basically a layered dessert: pumpkin bread, brownies, and pumpkin bars with a layer of cream cheese frosting in between each. Every time he would add more random layers. Pumpkin pie. Chocolate cake. Pecan pie. Banana bread. It's completely absurd, you'd have to bake so many deserts in order to make just this one dessert. 

Well, here's the thing. I love giving people things. And making people things. "Gift giving" is definitely one of my love languages. And I particularly love getting to give people unprompted surprises. So I decided to make the pumpkin tower to surprise them when they got back. It was until I was actually compiling the thing that I realized: this is so much sugar in one desert. 

Needless to say, the pumpkin tower should be approached with caution. It's super sweet. You need a huge glass of water to get through a slice. Also, this morning, Nash asked, "Do you think that slice of pumpkin tower I ate yesterday had more than a thousand calories in it?" And here's the really scary thing: that's totally possible. If each layer had 350 calories? WHICH IS TOTALLY FEASIBLE. The slice he had yesterday would be 1050 calories. That's so scary. 

The bit I had transformed me into the squirrel from Hoodwinked. I totally smashed it playing family nertz afterward, though I admittedly was crashing near the end of the game. Nash reckons he would have won if we went to 300 instead of 200.

Saturday morning, while baking that horrific delicious dessert, I also uploaded a video! It's a "Character Look: Captain America" video. If you haven't seen it, you should check it ouuuuuut! (It's right here!)

Saturday I also got the book F*CK! I'm In My Twenties by Emma Koeing in the mail. I've enjoyed it so far. It's such an accurate representation of my twenties so far.

This morning, inspired by visiting Arkansan Hippies over that weekend, my mother was wearing a very Eureka Springs outfit. She looked super pretty!

Then, I hung out with my brother. We went to a coffee shop to work, but before hand... he took fashion blog photos for me! We got yelled out by our neighbor's one angry dog and then found a disgusting tick that was about to burst with blood... but eventually we got the pictures taken!

Also: sorry for showing you that picture of the tick. It's super gross, right? CRAZY GROSS. Its tiny, little legs were practically too small to stand. Nash moved it out by the bird feeder so hopefully a bird will eat it.